silence!

the woman next to me in the yoga studio farted! and it wasn't a little puff, it was a full on honk. after the class was done, she darted out of the studio but i don't know if that was because she had to get to work or if she was embarrassed. i'm thinking about going to the 6am classes regularly. i really enjoyed being up early this morning but it would have been better if i got more sleep last night.

melanie's roommate, veeebeee, is a retarded psycho bitch. and immature. she likes to change her msn messenger name to things like "roommates are for suckers", "i need a clean roommate", and other things along those lines. my theory is that she has some complex where she always needs attention and likes to fabricate faults in other people. melanie's going to move out december 1st but she hasn't told her that yet. i want her to change her msn name to "instead of eating turkey, maybe you should find your bitch ass a new roommate." i also told melanie to put some crickets in the apartment just before she moves out. then they'll chirp all night and keep her up forever. and i also don't like her because she once told melanie that i'm a 'bad influence'. how does that work? mel's older and she used to make me cry when we were kids.

i sang a birthday song to one of tom's tables at work tonight. none of us wanted to sing so i suggested a jack astor's birthday song. it goes like this: this is the birthday song, and it's not very long! and then you just walk away from the table. the kitchen staff came out to listen to us sing and pissed their pants laughing when we were done. the birthday girl had a huge brown mole and i wanted to stay there and stare at it after we were done singing.