rocking in a corner...

well, let's see...i am slowly going crazy? i've cried more this weekend than i have all year.

saturday night was a rowdy night. did lots of shots, had lots of beer, then we all went back to the 'frat house' to party some more. i was sitting in nathan's room and we had a joint. can someone tell me why i then started to bawl my eyes out? jen must have thought that i was on crack because i didn't actually tell her why i was crying. everyone thought that i was crying because my cell phone fell into my water glass. no, there are other reasons. it was like a sudden wave of depression hitting me in the face. i stopped eventually but it seemed like i was crying for a really, really long time.

side note: why do all asian men love wearing white sport socks with black dress pants and black shoes?! (there's a condo sale going on in front of me at work right now and there are shit loads of chinese people around)

after everyone left, nathan asked me what was wrong and then i started crying all over again. i ended up falling asleep on a tear stained pillow while listening to led zeplin.

then yesterday, i was walking on bloor and a creepy man who was talking to himself started to walk to behind me. i called alex so someone would be able to call the cops if crazy man did anything. i told him that i cried the night before and then he asked why. i started talking about the reasons all over again and then i started crying yet again. i felt like a crack whore walking by sherbourne. i was suppose to go over to his place to talk about my depressing thoughts but decided to go home to hermit in my room instead.

he wasn't happy that i just wanted to go home but gave up the fight. i should have know that he was going to be at r.h. waiting for me. haha, he must have whipped his blades on and motored down. i got a lecture about suicidal thoughts and then i got the "i love you" speech. fun times!!!....not. argh...anyway, i felt better.

i was really late for work this morning. elizabeth noticed that i wasn't my perky self and asked what was wrong. i told her that i had a rough weekend and she let it go. liz yelled at me though. elizabeth tried to cut her off but it didn't work so i started tearing up in front of them. don't you love talking to your bosses when they're mad at you and you're choking on your emotions? nice way to kick of the work week.

anyway, i'm going to go find some food.