every body else is doing it

well, that's not entirely true as i've only read two of my friends' blogs that they've done this in. and what is it that those two friends have done, you ask? blog about their NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS!! so let's start my list (in no particular order).

1. reach my goal weight of 120 lbs
my goal weight last year was 125 lbs but then i bought a scale and found out that i had already went down from 140 to 130 therefore i figured another five pounds wouldn't be all that hard to drop. to help me reach this goal, i've started using thedailyplate.com. i've tried just writing down what i ate many times before but this site breaks down the calorie intake of all the food you eat and really lets you know how much you're consuming. one thing i learned recently: no more big pots of homemade tomato meat sauce for my spaghetti. clocking in at 669 calories per serving, that's more that half of my daily caloric needs in order to lose weight. i've also stopped eating at work simply because i'm bored. now i'm chugging water and dying for bathroom breaks all throughout my shift. fun times!

2. be more disciplined in my spending
along with my food log, i've been saving receipts and writing down what i've been spending for the past few months now. although december was a bit of a write off as i got way to busy/tired with work and all the social festivities that december demands of you.

my dining out has been reduced by a fair bit mostly because i'm trying to lose weight and i'm eating at home more so i know what i'm actually ingesting. i haven't been to the jason george nearly as often as last year. i just haven't been in the mood to go out after work lately and i'd rather not drink a days worth of calories. the last time i went out i nursed maybe two drinks and then switched to soda. just didn't feel like boozing it up.

i've also cut back on being a lazy bitch and started walking to work. the extra 15 minutes of sleep may be nice in the morning but it sure sucks finding out how much you spent on cabs to work in a month when you only live a 20 minute walk away.

3. pay off all commercial debt
that was a major goal last year and i paid off (and cancelled) my hbc card and i'm well on my way to paying off my rbc visa but my cibc visa still looms heavily over my head. i need to get my gym membership transfered either to my rbc visa or have it taken out of my bank account instead of my cibc visa. i feel like i make progress in paying it off but then the monthly charge gets tacked on and it makes two payments seem in vain once you add on interest.

4. and that brings us to fitness...
so i have this gym membership that i've done nothing with in the last, lets see, forever? the last time i went to the gym was probably four to five months ago and i was doing really well with going three to four times a week and then all of a sudden i stopped. don't really know why, but i did. now i need to be my ass back there. it's not like it's ridiculously out of the way. i'm just a lazy bitch. must get into a routine of going to the gym before or after work. i need to tone my arms and just tone up over all especially since i have a trip planned to mexico at the end of february and a wedding to go to in april. and for all i know, my sister-in-law could show up at any point with the possibility of having a wedding reception. and asian people are jerks and bitches when it comes to pointing out how fat or thin people are.

5. be less judgemental
i think i'm okay with this but i know i could be better. stop making fun of people for just being them. stop scolding them in my head. stop making people feel bad just to make myself feel better. just stop all that nonsense.

i'll stop at five for now. maybe i'll add more later.

streaming me

oh what a day it has been. got a talking to today because i ordered too much food for a table and they called back to complain. not contesting that at all because i did feel bad about how much food i brought back from the table. no official letter but a warning. i'm not sure if it will be a "severe" warning but a warning none the less. i must be more consistent at work. one minute i am small praises, the next i blank out and get a talking to. that will be my "professional/business" goal for this year: be consistent. the captain's table loved me today. every time i walked up to them there was one lady either talking about vaginas, sex, or pretending that she was from another country and talking with an accent with her pashmina wrapped around her head like a turban. to each there one.

what the hell is with all the chicks walking around with cropped leggings and boots that don't meet up with said leggings? i wore leggings today thinking that it was warming enough out but it wasn't. i wasn't freezing by any means, but serious ladies, it is way to cold out to have bare, or partial bare, legs right now. and it also looks a little funny but i'd be more concerned about the frostbite factor than the fashion factor.

i didn't plan my meals out very well this week. i currently have two salmon fillets marinating in pc teriyaki marinade, a pound of lean ground beef in the fridge, and not enough veggies to accompany one meal. i think i'll have one of the fillets with salad for dinner but after that i'm not really sure what i'm going to do with the rest of it. i will make a meat sauce at some point but i need to make sure that i'm going to eat it all as i didn't like what happened to the last batch that i froze. they didn't taste weird or anything but i didn't really plan well for those either and they took forever to defrost whenever i was in the mood for pasta.

the bf and i have decided that we will do our christmas gift exchange this sunday. i suppose it's about time but i haven't gotten very much for him yet. as i got him and xbox360 for his birthday last year, there isn't much i can to do top that and his parents got him a laptop so there really isn't much i can do to top that. except take him to mexico but that's not happening. maybe in another year or so but not right now. but it would be nice to go away together.

mimi is doing a fabulous job of researching resorts to go to at the end of february. i feel like i really should plan the trips for the next two years as i have done very little research for our warm getaway this year and i didn't diddly squat for nyc this year. must start planning now. too spoiled with tour guide claudia and trip planning mimi. must do some of the work myself. so much easier when others do it for you.

enough stream of consciousness for now. maybe later.

the sh*t you write

i suppose this entry should be titles "the sh*t i write" as i have just read some of my entries dating as far back as 2004. i had totally forgotten the following:

1) i was capable of (and probably still am but no longer to feel the need to be) a big slut

2) i used to feel self-conscious for having freshly dyed pink hair. my actual words were "day-glo"

3) i'm really funny. i mean, i'm really funny.

4) how nice is was to live at home even though it drove me nuts. i'm still very happy that i moved out.

i'm glad i looked at those old posts. i definitely needed the laugh after a day of emotional turmoil. the waters have calmed and the boy now sees my point of view as i do his. no major earth shaking changes will happen but some changes will happen and hopefully things get better.

what's the use in trying?

that is pretty much i've been wondering since approximately 2:15am last night. i woke up multiple times in the middle of the night, angry and in want of a screaming match but i'm happy the screaming match didn't happen because i'm quite positive that i would have been spitting venom if it had. as i have just decided that i have better things to do today than feel irritated and upset, i'm going to get on with the rest of the day.

as i lay awake

for some reason i've been waking up multiple times in the middle of the night for the past couple of weeks. not really sure what it is but it's starting to really irritate me. it's not that i'm tired in the morning (because surprisingly, i'm not) but it's lying there in my bed WIDE AWAKE at three in the morning wondering if i will fall back asleep or if i'll just be awake from then on. i've stopped drinking caffeinated beverages after around seven o'clock and i've started a bedtime routine of reading before turning out the light. maybe i need to start putting ear plugs in again. my roommate goes to bed before i do so i don't see her making any loud sleep disrupting noises in the living room but maybe it's people out on the street. euclid is the only one way north for a couple of streets and a lot of cars like using it instead of bathurst. maybe they are the reason why i'm waking up at night.

stress & security

these two things don't really go together for me unless you're talking about my financial status. money in the bank? yes. money tucked away in a pretty little box? yes. CONSUMER DEBT? yes. bah. my glimmer of hope? a busy holiday season kicking up starting in probably a week or two. i make it sound so much worse than it really is. all i want is to be debt free come the end of the year. it shouldn't be all that hard if what people at work say about the holiday tips is true. i've decided that the money tucked away in the pretty box will be spent in nyc. the original plan was to spend it on a brand-spanking-new laptop but i may buy one in nyc so it'll all still work out.

now the real reason why i'm stressed:___________?? i don't really know. i have a bad habit of hunching up my shoulders for some reason and it makes them really tense when i do relax them. it's probably because i haven't gone for a massage in so long. maybe i'll go to sugar moon and get a massage, my brows done, and a facial. i've never had a facial but the last time i was at sugar moon, paola recommended one for me. hopefully that will alleviate some of my unexplainable stress.

as for the security, i feel very safe but i am wondering why my neighbours to the north have a security camera outside of their front door. when i lived at my mom's, there was a house a few blocks over with burglar bars on the living room bay window and two cameras pointed at their front door. i would walk by on the way home and sometimes on recycling day, their blue bin was full of empty captain morgan's rum mickies and two litre bottles of coke. i always thought it was weird but didn't really thing anything of it until the papers reported that it was head quarters for a prostitution ring rang by the couple that lived there. strange things happen in quiet neighbourhoods. i really hope my neighbours aren't running a prostitution ring.

colder than i want to be

...in a couple of ways:

1) my apartment is very cold and i'm wearing my first pair of knee socks this season.
2) i am somewhat incapable of expressing my emotions thus making me appear like a cold hearted bitch.

on number one, my hands are a bit cold making typing a bit more difficult than it normally is. i've been reading a book on super nutrition for women and it says that you can be cold because your diet is deficient in certain vitamins and minerals. or it could just be that my landlords really don't have any idea how to heat their house properly. the girls that lived here before us said that the place has good climate control but this summer was a bit trying and this prelude to winter doesn't look all that promising either.

on number two, i've become better at being less detached but i'm sure i still seem distant to some people. i'm going to chalk it up to my upbringing as my entire family is very unemotional. well, not my generation but all the adults. very little hugging and screaming but lots of laughter. it's not all bad.

"if you get yourself a good lawyer..."

was the words a man across the bar said to me today during my shift in regards to what he viewed as harassment by one of my more "less diplomatic" co-workers. i suppose if i really wanted to i could, but i don't so i won't. the temporary and sometimes amusing grief is something i can deal with at the moment and if the arrangement ever goes sours, i'll always know that i'll just need to get a good lawyer.

the urge always returns after a long hiatus

well here i am putting an entry into a blog that i haven't used since 2006. there was a stint on myspace but then facebook took over the world and i left the blogging world for quite some time. the urge to start again came back when i stumbled upon mimi's blog at livejournal. i think that blog was supposed to be a secret so i've stayed away from it since.

since my last blog in this site, i've started two new jobs, lost one of them, moved in with jen again, opened a "grown up" savings account, made and broken many brilliant plans and now i'm pacing my spending so i can go back to school in 2009. whether i go back for event planning or real estate is a decision that will come at a later time. oh, and i now have a lovely boyfriend named gareth. which reminds me, i still have to go to the market to pick up some lamb for dinner.

upcoming events:
1) nyc with mimi from november 29th to december 4th.
2) christmas!! i love wrapping presents!
3) some place warm and sunny in february with mimi and whoever else cares to join us/can afford to go at the same time as us.

other not so exciting events:
1) i have to schedule a routine cleaning with my dentist
2) i need to rearrange my bedroom furniture to optimize floor space (an event i've been planning for months)
3) i need to buy birthday presents for many people and i have no idea what to get them.

i now must go and check on my duck congee that's simmering on the stove. till the next post...

yet another new site

yes, i've found yet another place to put my blog. i've moved to http://myspace.com/wonderfulandsad my blog is public but you have to join to see pics and all that extra stuff. later blogger!

run!

oi stole a pepper mill today!

since when?

has anyone ever seen cartons of strawberry milk? neither had i until today. i walked into a small convenience store at yonge and bloor and low and behold, there it was. not exactly wonka's golden ticket but still mesmerizing. it was very sweet and baby pink in colour.

it'll all be over soon

two classes done, one more to go. at least for this semester. next semester stars in mid april and i still haven't decided how many classes i'm going to take. i'm thinking that i'm only going to take two classes. three in a row doesn't leave much time for anything once you add in work. i just come home and crash.

my presentation in host communications went really well today. i did not expect to get 81% and i'm sure my partner didn't either. we lost marks because i spoke too quickly at times and she didn't speak loud enough for most of the presentation. i suppose that goes to show her shy personality and my inability to speak slowly. waitress mentality - the sooner you can get through your script with one table, the sooner you can get to the next.

i'm thinking about taking some classes at the second city. i went and saw janet's show this past saturday and it was really good. i knew i should have taken drama instead of instrumental music in grade 9. i think you should be required to take more art classes in highschool. i'm also looking into getting vocal classes too. maybe join a choir somewhere.

disgruntling in the workplace. i'm not really sure what the management team will look like one week from one. from the way things are unfolding, it appears that a lot of old staff are coming back. managers and floor staff. i think we're all just waiting to see what simon's going to do. everyone in the kitchen hates him and don't respect him and he doesn't really seem to have an important role there. he's going on vacation next week so he's either going to hand in his resignation or they're going to package him out.

anyway, time to take a look at my last and final project this semester. i'm working with a crazy girl that wants everything done right away. a white and younger version of my mother??

tick tock, tick tock

as the clock winds down, my site assignment that is due later today at 6:30pm is no more complete than it was yesterday. i suppose i should hop on it now. wow, school was so much easier when i didn't work full time.

and my stomach is currently playing an intense game of dodge ball with itself. it does not help that my father just light a cigarette in the house as cigarette smoke upsets my stomach regardless of whether or not i already have a stomach ache. fun times...

back to site...

a quiz made for mimi

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting. You focus on living a quality life. You're not easily impressed with novelty. Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

no more (warm) sunshine & pina colodas

today was my first full day back from the dominican and i was slightly confused today when i woke up on mimi's floor. i spend the last four days waking up early, going to a breakfast buffet and then lying in the sun like the lazy ass i wish i could be year round. it was odd not having to walk to the beach in my pjs to claimed a much desired hut. to all those people who did not get huts: sucks to be your sun burnt ass!

i'm just waiting for peter to finish doing the dishes so i can take a shower. i must deep condition my hair. the salt water feels gross after it dries in your hair. my skin is nicely exfoliated though. i burned a little but nothing too too bad. just my nose is peeling and bright red at the moment. i got a giant bottle of aloe vera gel so i will be smearing that on when i feel inflamed.

peter picked up a digital camera for me in my absence. sometimes he's a good little brother =) i must pay him back tomorrow. the camera's normally $499 but it was on sale for $349. i love deals. i still need to buy a memory card and a case for it. what am i going to do with my old camera? perhaps muckle or my father will want it. i have to get all my punta cana pictures off of it tomorrow.

time to shower and do some reading before bed. more from freezing cold toronto soon...

sunshine & pina coladas

that's what i'm hoping for anyway. the forecast for the first three days i'm in punta cana say bright sunny skies but clouds on the fourth. no biggie as long as i get some prime tanning done early in my visit. i've yet to complete packing. most of the required clothing is packed but i haven't gotten to toiletries yet. i need to make a quick stop at shoppers tomorrow morning. we'll see though. it just snowed and i may decide that i can live without a few things.

not much has happened since i last posted. just going through the motions of my day to day life. i bought tragically hip tickets during my manager meeting at work on friday. the gm can't get mad at me if two of the tickets are for him (not free of charge - that would be unethical). jen nearly had a heart attack when i told i got eight tickets. i'm hoping to ebay a set to some crazy hip fans. i'm sure there are some die hard fans out there that didn't get tickets.

anyway, back to packing and i must also complete my homework assignment on brainstorming and themes.

a period of adjusting

yes, that what this is. a period of adjusting. moving home, adjusting to a new boss, school - oh the many things i must deal with. alright, time to stop being mellow dramatic. c'mon, i'm going to punta cana in 25 days. i can deal with everything until then. and i may be going to montreal for a management retreat on the monday right after i return. nothing wrong with that.

i had oysters, new england clam chowder, and two bottles of keith's for dinner tonight. i love oysters. too bad they're so bloody expensive. i just need to win the lotto and live a life of gluttony. hmm...on second thought, maybe no. being a fatso is not something that i'm interested in.

since moving home, i've started to gain weight. i used to walk home four nights out of the week when i lived in the annex but the walk home to my parents' house is not the safest. if only parliament wasn't such a dodgy street once the sun sets. it won't be so bad in the summer but right now it's down right scary. i walked home the other day along king/queen and there were times when i wish i wasn't walking. not kosher what so ever.

i would continue to blog but i had a late night yesterday and the day before. how i do love dining out and bar hopping though. alas...

roast beast

so it seems that there will be some roast beast. deadstar's kitchen smells like ham because he daddy is baking one. we're going to oi's for dinner. i wonder if it will be just our family or if relatives of other blood lines will also be in attendance.

i have to be at work for 9 tomorrow becuase lauren's in california. i am not looking forward to checking the festive desk messages. i'm sure crazy people have left many rude/angry/panicked messages because they didn't plan for new year's eve until this past weekend. sorry, sometimes the hospitality world gets time off to. well, not sometimes, only during christmas. the rest of the year we slave away. i feel bad for movie theatres - they never close. but then again, i'm sure most of the people working over the holidays volunteered to be scheduled.

i have to get boxes from work tomorrow so i can start packing - i already feel the tension headache...alas. at least my parents don't live in mississauga. that would suck ass.

sleepies *yawn*yawn*

early boxing day shopping excursion
no good finds
opened broswer window and proceeded type as if i were logging on to the distillery events site
je suis fatigué