rocking in a corner...

well, let's see...i am slowly going crazy? i've cried more this weekend than i have all year.

saturday night was a rowdy night. did lots of shots, had lots of beer, then we all went back to the 'frat house' to party some more. i was sitting in nathan's room and we had a joint. can someone tell me why i then started to bawl my eyes out? jen must have thought that i was on crack because i didn't actually tell her why i was crying. everyone thought that i was crying because my cell phone fell into my water glass. no, there are other reasons. it was like a sudden wave of depression hitting me in the face. i stopped eventually but it seemed like i was crying for a really, really long time.

side note: why do all asian men love wearing white sport socks with black dress pants and black shoes?! (there's a condo sale going on in front of me at work right now and there are shit loads of chinese people around)

after everyone left, nathan asked me what was wrong and then i started crying all over again. i ended up falling asleep on a tear stained pillow while listening to led zeplin.

then yesterday, i was walking on bloor and a creepy man who was talking to himself started to walk to behind me. i called alex so someone would be able to call the cops if crazy man did anything. i told him that i cried the night before and then he asked why. i started talking about the reasons all over again and then i started crying yet again. i felt like a crack whore walking by sherbourne. i was suppose to go over to his place to talk about my depressing thoughts but decided to go home to hermit in my room instead.

he wasn't happy that i just wanted to go home but gave up the fight. i should have know that he was going to be at r.h. waiting for me. haha, he must have whipped his blades on and motored down. i got a lecture about suicidal thoughts and then i got the "i love you" speech. fun times!!!....not. argh...anyway, i felt better.

i was really late for work this morning. elizabeth noticed that i wasn't my perky self and asked what was wrong. i told her that i had a rough weekend and she let it go. liz yelled at me though. elizabeth tried to cut her off but it didn't work so i started tearing up in front of them. don't you love talking to your bosses when they're mad at you and you're choking on your emotions? nice way to kick of the work week.

anyway, i'm going to go find some food.

wipe out!

i went rollerblading yesterday and wiped out in front of danforth tech. it was the first time i've fallen in years. my front wheels on my left skate got caught on some tar. the rain rehydrated them and they were tacky. good thing the red head behind me kept her distance and braked. i skinned my knee a little and i put a hole into my yoga pants. oh well, those will now be designated "rollerblading" pants now. i have to get some switch-witch to fix the hole. i hope it's not too obvious when i'm done.

i was at broadview station today and saw some little kids getting transfers. the new machines aren't nearly as fun as the machines that were around when i was little. the new machines just beep now; the old ones would make this loud clunky chopping sound. and it actually spat the transfer out at you.

i gotta work the bar at boiler house tomorrow night. dean and i are going to be super crusty around midnight. i'm fairly certain that we're going to be hating everyone after both working doubles without other bartenders to relieve us at any point.

another long day of interviews today. at least all the rejects have been weeded out. this girl, sienna, came in last week with her rèsumé and tried to sell herself really hard. peter said to throw her into the pile and have her come in for an interview. i wasn't very impressed with her the first time because she her confidence came off as cockiness and i wasn't very impressed the second time either. sweetie, do you not realize that there's a HUGE hole in your panty hose?

i'm supposed to "slap something together" (peter's words) for orientation. i hope no ones says anything stupid during orientation. i wonder how many people will get dressed up for orientation. haha, i'll show up in sweats and they'll be in power suits. fun times!

anyway, time to make some lunch and snacks for tomorrow so i don't faint.