roast beast

so it seems that there will be some roast beast. deadstar's kitchen smells like ham because he daddy is baking one. we're going to oi's for dinner. i wonder if it will be just our family or if relatives of other blood lines will also be in attendance.

i have to be at work for 9 tomorrow becuase lauren's in california. i am not looking forward to checking the festive desk messages. i'm sure crazy people have left many rude/angry/panicked messages because they didn't plan for new year's eve until this past weekend. sorry, sometimes the hospitality world gets time off to. well, not sometimes, only during christmas. the rest of the year we slave away. i feel bad for movie theatres - they never close. but then again, i'm sure most of the people working over the holidays volunteered to be scheduled.

i have to get boxes from work tomorrow so i can start packing - i already feel the tension headache...alas. at least my parents don't live in mississauga. that would suck ass.

sleepies *yawn*yawn*

early boxing day shopping excursion
no good finds
opened broswer window and proceeded type as if i were logging on to the distillery events site
je suis fatigué

how the grinch stole bonnie's voice

first off, happy holidays to all!! i think it's kinda neat that christmas and hanukkah is being celebrated on the same day this year.

second, when the hell is my little bro's girlfriend going to learn to speak? we went out for "christmas" dinner (more chinese food) and she didn't say a word the whole time. nothing new really, but it's starting to get very old. they've been dating for at least two years now so she can't say she doesn't know our family. she's a lanky mute. other than the mute factor, she's nice. although if they do end up getting married and having kids, their kids will probably learn to speak later than average because their mother won't be vocally communicating with them. perhaps they will become very adept at secret sign language that only they will know. not very helpful in the big world outside of their house though.

hmmm....what have i done since the 11th?

i saw bryan adams on the 16th at the air canada centre. i was surprised by the number of young girls in attendance. his guitarist is insane - very energetic - so much that i mistook him for bryan adams when they first came out. i met jen at the george for food and bevies before the show and ian had a great time teasing me before going to the show. i like bryan adams but not publicly and i most certainly do not like bryan adams in the form of spoken word performed by the man that slings me beers after work. side note: i'm fairly certain that ian is still with his girlfriend so alas, hands off.

i saw stars at lee's palace on the 18th. good show but too bad lee's wasn't serving any booze because it was an all ages gig and the band was an hour late!! well, they were really two hours late because they didn't play until 4pm and doors opened at 2pm but because deadstar and i are seasoned concert goers, we did not arrive until 3pm. a lot of the people in the audience were really pissed. torq is a very small man and amy is a spaz on stage. i really liked that they were an eight piece band. apparently they just recently found a full time touring violinist (lucky for me) because they would not have sounded as great without one.

what else? i saw "king kong" with alex (not as good as the critics said - this is my personal opinion, please don't attack me, i'm entitled to it). then "memoirs of a geisha" with my lovely cousins and claudia - this was a bad movie. i would be really pissed if i was authur golden. the book was much better. then today i saw "the producers" with deadstar. ferris bueller played a funny spaz. will farrel plays a good neo nazi. lots of gay queens and one mega lesbo too. too bad there were asshole sitting behind us that kept kicking the back of our seats.

so i gotsta move out sometime this week. the guys that's moving in wants to move in on the 27th but sorry, not doable for me. first off, he wants to move in during the afternoon (hi, i'm at work until 6) and i probably don't have a chauffeur until the 29th or 30th. jen was dumb too. i told her to leave me her keys before going home for christmas so i could give this guy a set so we could move in/out without having to coordinate schedules but she didn't. he's going to have to move in after he comes back from montreal. i've paid rent until the 31st and it's not my fault he's not scheduled to come back from montreal until after the 1st. shit out of luck buddy. i wonder if jen's going to cancel her internet since there won't be a computer in the apartment once i move out.

my dad still has to move an oven and fridge out of the third bedroom to accommodate this mystery mat that's supposedly moving in for school in january. peter told me that he doesn't have his student visa yet so we're not sure if he's evening going to be allowed into the country to attend seneca. oh well. not my problem. i'm glad i will be in new york when this man moves in because i can foresee peter and my father getting into a yelling match about moving furniture/appliances. they're very much the same yet they don't see eye to eye.

i wonder if we're going to have a realy holiday meal tomorrow. these past two days has just been chinese food but maybe my uncle dave will make a roast beast! maybe not...it'll be the first christmas without a western meal in years if he doesn't.

that's enough blogging for me. i hate this keyboard i'm using right now. its keys are very raised and they make a lot of noise. it's odd adjusting when you work on a laptop all day and then use a laptop at home as well. oh, i'm at deadstars'.

a girl can always dream

You Are a Glam Rocker!

You put the "show" in rock show with your larger than life self. No doubt, you are all about making good music... But what really gets you going is having an over the top show. Glitter, costumes, and wild hair are your thing - with some rock thrown in!

What Kind of Rocker Are You?

are you alright?

that is the question that was posed to me multiple times throughout the day today by various levels of staff. um, no, i'm not alright. i'm actually rather stressed out and no, i do not care to speak about it - that would only take up precious minutes that i could spend catching up on work. the holiday season is starting to kick my ass and i haven't even begun my holiday shopping. it looks like i may be taking some bar shifts soon so hopefully i'll just be too exhausted to be stressed. is it wrong to feel that everyone around you is incompetent?

i'm very disappointed with the james blunt album. i'm hoping that it's one of those cds that takes a few listens before you really get into it. was i wrong to assume that the album would be good because it kicked coldplay off the uk charts after months of being numero uno? i am now listening to old john mayer albums.

it's snowing out which means that people are going to start driving like morons. why is it that precipitation makes people break suddenly? and then there are those who prefer to drive with excess speed but have difficulties controlling their vehicles. *shrug* i am going to stick with the ttc until the spring. i should really go get my g2.

so the talk with peter turned out to be nothing. apparently stacey and i are being perceived as "bossy" by some of the staff. well no shit - i was bossy as a server, did you expect me not to be bossy as an event manager? we weren't given any specific names of who these complaints were coming from but i don't really care.

so jen still hasn't found a roommate for sure yet. a friend of a friend came on tuesday to check the place out and said that she needed to talk to her landlord since she isn't giving him 60 days. i don't know what the hell jen is doing but i would be a little more concerned about finding someone to fill my room. if she doesn't find a roommate for january, she's either going to really piss our landlord off or she's going to have to pony up double her rent. i told her over a month ago that i was moving home.

wow, this whole entry was just a bunch of rants. i really hope i'm not angry tomorrow. nobody better irritate me tomorrow. i'm not sure i could refrain from kicking them in the head if they do. oh, if the kitchen runs late on my event tomorrow, i will spit venom.

concerts & movies, these are a few of my favourite things!

i went to nin last thursday and jann arden last saturday, "jarhead" on thursdays and "pride & prejudice" today. which were all very good. trent reznor had giant pumped up arms, jann arden was quite witty with her banter, "jarhead" starred an incredibly hot jake gyllenhaal, and "pride & prejudice" was a nice break from all of the hollywood blockbusters i've seen lately. i'm going to see "harry potter & the goblet of fire" in imax tomorrow. yay!! lots of stuff. and i just bought a whack of cds so i'm very content at the moment. now if only i could type properly on this laptop. i'm so used to typing on my work laptop that i'm rather slow on this one.

i was supposed to go see jeff's band and then ian's band yesterday but jen was sick and jeff's couldn't get us on the guests list for his show. sorry man, i would have loved to show my support by going to your gig, but i am not paying $35 when you're opening for fozzy. they have a show lined up at the horseshoe on the 2nd so i'll go to that instead. five dollar cover is much easier to cough up than $35. i would have liked to go to ian's show but by then i was already home and settled. i will have to apologize the next time he slings me a beer. i've already missed two of his shows so i feel bad. oh well, maybe you should have made a move instead of sitting on the fence when you were single. but then again, i don't know if he's still with his girlfriend.

i have to go to work tomorrow for 11am. i really wish i hadn't scheduled a site inspection that early. and what's with all the weddings? that seems to be the only things on my to-do lists now. i have ten couples waiting for quotes. i'm going to put expiry dates on the quotes to get them to sign contracts and make deposits faster. i'm not wasting my time with people who are "still deciding on a venue". if only i could avoid weekend site inspections.

so stacey and i are getting a talking to from peter on monday. apparently some people have expressed their concerns/views about the events team. i personally don't care because i don't feel that anything is wrong but stacey is upset. she needs to stop internalizing things. luckily i'm naturally emotionally detached from many things as it is so i'm fine. i do wonder what's been said and by who. i suppose i could prod will's brain for the inside scoop but that's just too much effort since peter will tell me everything on monday. i really hope it doesn't put a dark cloud over the entire day.

i must now import my new cds into itunes. i may blog more later. i may not.

i always knew i was a little off...

You Are 31 Years Old

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe. 13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world. 20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences. 30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more! 40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

so according to this test, i behave ten years older than i am. i'm not all that surprised.

you look familiar...

that was the opening line in my last client meeting today. turns out i may be booking a wedding for a girl that was in my grade 10 BOA class with. her name's tara but i thought she was another tara that i had come across in another walk of life. thank god she wasn't the dumb ass tara that i had in mind. although i really hope she's not marrying who she was dating in highschool. he's a thug. i find it odd that she's already engaged. i don't remember her being in my class but she couldn't have been that much older. 23 max. too young for me to be getting married but hey, different strokes.

i'm at my parents' house again. i hopped on the 172 bus forgetting that it doesn't go to pape station on weekends and ended up making a round trip from the distillery front gates to cherry beach before i made it to union station. i wonder why the bus driver didn't ask me where i was going when we reached the last stop on the loop. jackass.

union station was crusty. there was a leafs home game tonight so it was full of people heading to the acc. why is it that people refuse to eat a proper dinner at home before heading down instead of grabbing mickey d's on the way? it just doesn't make any sense to me because the mcdonald's in union station doesn't have any seating.

the leafs were wearing their white jerseys today. i'm slightly confused over the league's usage of all the jerseys. they were wearing their dark colours at home for the past season and today the leafs had their "home" jerseys" on. hmm...that's a jen questions. i'll ask her when i get home.

mel's really going away to mexico on monday. i told her that i would get "planet of the apes" mask and wear it to her party tomorrow. one thing i have to hunt for tomorrow. i hope malabar has restocked all of their stuff. halloween raped them clean of everything. i don't know if i really want to put that mask on because i don't think i'll want it on my face all night. although it's really funny. mel's going to have her video camera out all night so it may be worth it just to see people's reactions on film at a later date. i still have to get my halloween pictures developed to. so much stuff to do tomorrow. and quotes...i hate working from home.

anyway, time to hop back on to the marvelous ttc and head back to 590.

a flash of light, a crash of drums

that's what my head felt (and is still feeling) like all day. i have these random sharp stabbing pains on the right side of my skull. piercing headaches. i wish i knew what they were. they happen randomly all the time but when i'm sick, they come more often. especially if i turn my head too fast or get up to quickly. everyone in the office keeps asking me if i'm okay (i haven't been my perky self these past few days) and they get very concerned looks on their faces when i grab the side of my head in pain. yay, they care about me, they really do!

my body is really sore too. my whole body is aching. i have to bartend tomorrow so hopefully i'll feel better. stacey offered me some of her perks but she said i wouldn't be able to bartend on them. dammit! i was really hoping to make working tomorrow a tranquil haze. do i have valium left anywhere?

anyway, i gotta go home now (i'm at my parents'). i'll probably blog more later when my headache is keeping me awake.

i think i'm dying...

this past week has not been the slightest bit fun. well, i can't say that. i did a fair bit of partying but now all the fun's over. i've had a killer headache for the past two days (i ended up napping in the vip room for an hour today while waiting for a site inspection - too bad she cancelled 15 minutes prior to our appointment) and i may have to get a biopsy. actually, i probably have to get one. there has been no change to the infamous lump since labour day weekend.

what did you guys do for hallowe'en? i worked at 1 up and it sucked ass! the manager was such a sleaze bag. brent, you owe me BIG TIME!! oh, how i do miss working with brent though. i would put up with sleaze bag to work a few nights with brent. fun times.

nathan had a hallowe'en party at his place on monday. i borrowed an inflatable bull rider costume from jen. i had by far the best get up...except for maybe will, he was dressed up as uma thurman from kill bill (yellow track suit) with boobies and all. mel went all 80's out circa "flash dance". fun times!! peter was dressed as a ballerina bunny and the boys kept lighting his tail on fire. kelly and mark had the greatest "couples" costume i've seen in a long time. they were the "spy vs. spy" characters and they looked awesome.

i ended up making out with this guy phil, a friend of some friends. i feel really dirty about it now. oh well, what's done is done. he works on site in the coffee shop so it looks like i'll be boycotting cappuccinos for a while. actually, there's a lot of stuff that i'm going to have to boycott because of that - lots of mutual friends.

i'm moving home!! i don't want to but i do at the same time. i won't have to pay rent (though i'll be paying some of the bills) but no where near $700 a month. and i'll have my mama's home cooking too. i haven't told my parents yet. i need to figure out a way to get them to let me paint my room. there is only really two full walls so it shouldn't take long. maybe my daddy will do it for me =)

anyway, i gotta go pay rent and make some soup. maybe it'll make my headache go away. until next time...

small window...

ian and leah had in fact broken up. however, that was a really small window of opportunity that i missed because he is now dating his ex from before leah. what's with me and guys who are involved with their exes? maybe he'll break up with her too. who knows. really, he's a very trivial part of my thoughts. easily replaceable but there's just no one to replace him with. i wonder when nathan will start appealing to me again. it's been about three weeks so i'm guessing that will cycle around again in a week of two.

hmm, sidney's wedding is on saturday. i still don't know what i'm wearing. all i know if that i'm doing green or blue eyes and i've got earrings already. no dress. i think i have a bag already. i wonder if jennifer is going to bring her boyfriend. i'm not looking forward to piling into the family car for the ride all the way to niagara. i'm going to find out if there's room in one of the cars going out of mississauga. i would much rather sit in a minivan than our little corolla.

i need to dye my hair again. the dye jobs from the salons always fade so fast. it doesn't have quite the same time to set as it does when i dye my hair at home. of course, there's not much coupe bizzarre can do in comparison to my eight hours of sleep with dye in my hair. i did get it trimmed again too. it was starting to get messy and shapeless. i'm getting my brows done tomorrow (finally).

i went for a run today. i've realized that i can't run anywhere but on the track. i didn't pace myself very well and ended up running way to fast from the get go and had to stop a little while later. i did five laps last week which surprised me because i thought i would only get three done. if i run three times a week, i will hopefully be fit enough to run the 5km in october.

well, bed time (i think...i've been staring at my guitar for the past little while so i might fiddle with that for a while).

donkey ass!

well, my day has sucked donkey ass today. i can't really say that about the entire day. here's the breakdown:

1) i bought an ipod mini online today. it's pink and i got it engraved with "don't ask" on the first line and "don't tell" on the first line. so if anyone finds a pink ipod mini with that etched on the back of it, please contact me and there will be a reward for it.

2) i finally got down to coupe bizzarre and got my hair done. i feel really self conscious right now because it's really bright - like day-glo. a few washes and it'll be toned down.

3) i've decided that i'm not longer in love with nathan and am in fact 'in love' with ian the bartender. if only my fickle heart would make up its damned mind. the only problem with that is that i don't know if he's gotten back together with his ex-girlfriend. they work together and a lot of really odd things have happened since the broke up so there's a lot of hazy grey area right now. i really should just go up to him and ask him but there is never a good opportunity. i was going to ask him yesterday when i left the bar but a herd of people walked in and kept him occupied.

i don't know what the hell is going on!! he looked so damn good last night too. i was pretty sure that he was interested two-three weeks ago but i didn't respond to any of his signals because i wanted to give him and his ex that reconciliation period just in case anything happened. and guess what? it did! at least that's what i'm thinking. jen thinks that they just got drunk a few times and fell into bed with each other because they had just broken up and it's easy to do that when you have history with someone. i'm not so sure.

i wish everything was cut and dry. it would make it much easier on me. yes, that's right, i want the entire world to bend and fold just to make my life easier.

hopefully i will get a chance to ask him sometime this week. i'm fairly certain that he's dating leah again but i would feel better about this whole situation if i knew. wow, i haven't been so stressed about a boy in a long while.

jen made a good observation tonight: why is it that i have huge crushed on boys who work with their ex-girlfriends? i don't know, apparently it's just my luck.

time for bed and to contemplate my love life [lack there of].

online at last

finally, i'm all hooked up to the internet at home. i can't really say "finally" because it's completely my own fault for not hooking it up sooner. i'm waiting for multiple loads of laundry right now so i thought it would be a good idea to plug in. too bad i don't have a desk and my laptop is currently perched on top of a milk create. i thought that i would be able to bypass the entire student living phase but alas...

well, let's see what's happened since i last updated...

1) i have been promoted to 'event coordinator' at work. i have a desk job!! eek...i do like having a nine to fiver but i do miss being a jackass on the floor as well. i think i'm going to start bartending or serving some of the parties that liz or peter books. show these new people how to really work a function.

2) i've fallen in and out of love with brandon flowers, ian the bartender, nathan, and i'm currently in love with j.d. from 'rockstar inxs'. i really need to get a life. did anyone else know that brandon flowers is mormon and he's getting married to his long time girlfriend in october? i'm not a stalker, i swear on my first born.

3) steve asked me out and i said "no" due to my business ethics. sorry buddy, i can't be seeing an executive sous chef. if he ever questions why i sleep with nathan occasionally, i can say "we slept with each other way before we got our promotions so we're really on the same levels of authority. you however, have much more power that me [in theory] therefore, i can't sleep with you even if i wanted to [which i don't]".

4) i did the 'bell city chase' with my friend, mel, two saturdays ago. i must have sweated off at least 10 pounds worth of water weight. we ran all over the city in high quality (read: thick!) dark navy t-shirts. there were tons of cute boys doing the chase too. ladies, if you want to meet a bunch of hot guys, start participating in some sports league. even if you don't talk to them, there's plenty of eye candy.

that's all that i can think of right now but a lot of other stuff has happened.

i saw the killers and joss stone in one week. both shows were great. i can't believe that they're both such good live acts. tegan and sara opened for the killers and they sucked the life blood out of the crowd when they played after louis the 14th. as talented as those twins are, they should not have been slotted between those two bands. joss stone is huge! i mean physically, she's got to be at least a foot taller than me.

i've got so much work to do tomorrow. i wish fridays were my 'lite' days. i usually end up having to stay late for one reason or another. last week i ended up staying three hours longer than i intended to. i was almost out the door when i heard my name being called...i should have just pretended not to hear. but i'm not the type of person to screw over my fellow co-workers so i have to always turn around when i hear someone call my name.

i'm going to download some music now. more updates to come... =)

rocking in a corner...

well, let's see...i am slowly going crazy? i've cried more this weekend than i have all year.

saturday night was a rowdy night. did lots of shots, had lots of beer, then we all went back to the 'frat house' to party some more. i was sitting in nathan's room and we had a joint. can someone tell me why i then started to bawl my eyes out? jen must have thought that i was on crack because i didn't actually tell her why i was crying. everyone thought that i was crying because my cell phone fell into my water glass. no, there are other reasons. it was like a sudden wave of depression hitting me in the face. i stopped eventually but it seemed like i was crying for a really, really long time.

side note: why do all asian men love wearing white sport socks with black dress pants and black shoes?! (there's a condo sale going on in front of me at work right now and there are shit loads of chinese people around)

after everyone left, nathan asked me what was wrong and then i started crying all over again. i ended up falling asleep on a tear stained pillow while listening to led zeplin.

then yesterday, i was walking on bloor and a creepy man who was talking to himself started to walk to behind me. i called alex so someone would be able to call the cops if crazy man did anything. i told him that i cried the night before and then he asked why. i started talking about the reasons all over again and then i started crying yet again. i felt like a crack whore walking by sherbourne. i was suppose to go over to his place to talk about my depressing thoughts but decided to go home to hermit in my room instead.

he wasn't happy that i just wanted to go home but gave up the fight. i should have know that he was going to be at r.h. waiting for me. haha, he must have whipped his blades on and motored down. i got a lecture about suicidal thoughts and then i got the "i love you" speech. fun times!!!....not. argh...anyway, i felt better.

i was really late for work this morning. elizabeth noticed that i wasn't my perky self and asked what was wrong. i told her that i had a rough weekend and she let it go. liz yelled at me though. elizabeth tried to cut her off but it didn't work so i started tearing up in front of them. don't you love talking to your bosses when they're mad at you and you're choking on your emotions? nice way to kick of the work week.

anyway, i'm going to go find some food.

wipe out!

i went rollerblading yesterday and wiped out in front of danforth tech. it was the first time i've fallen in years. my front wheels on my left skate got caught on some tar. the rain rehydrated them and they were tacky. good thing the red head behind me kept her distance and braked. i skinned my knee a little and i put a hole into my yoga pants. oh well, those will now be designated "rollerblading" pants now. i have to get some switch-witch to fix the hole. i hope it's not too obvious when i'm done.

i was at broadview station today and saw some little kids getting transfers. the new machines aren't nearly as fun as the machines that were around when i was little. the new machines just beep now; the old ones would make this loud clunky chopping sound. and it actually spat the transfer out at you.

i gotta work the bar at boiler house tomorrow night. dean and i are going to be super crusty around midnight. i'm fairly certain that we're going to be hating everyone after both working doubles without other bartenders to relieve us at any point.

another long day of interviews today. at least all the rejects have been weeded out. this girl, sienna, came in last week with her rèsumé and tried to sell herself really hard. peter said to throw her into the pile and have her come in for an interview. i wasn't very impressed with her the first time because she her confidence came off as cockiness and i wasn't very impressed the second time either. sweetie, do you not realize that there's a HUGE hole in your panty hose?

i'm supposed to "slap something together" (peter's words) for orientation. i hope no ones says anything stupid during orientation. i wonder how many people will get dressed up for orientation. haha, i'll show up in sweats and they'll be in power suits. fun times!

anyway, time to make some lunch and snacks for tomorrow so i don't faint.

holy bikini batman!

yikes, i'm going slightly nuts with ebay and bikini's. so far, i've received one and i still have four more on the way. i feel well stocked now so i have to find something else to obsess about on ebay. i still need to get a white suit...your tan looks so good against a white suit. love it!! now i just need to lose some winter fat and then some 'baby fat' that just never went away.

hmm...i'm not quite sure what i think about nathan at this point. maybe when he moves in with peter and lisa he'll calm down. too much partying right now. he was talking to a girl at the underground last night and they had matching baseball caps on. coincidence? *eyebrow raised*

i saw "be cool" last night. the rock is the best part of the movie. well, vince vaughn playing a wigger was pretty good too. the story line was kinda all over the place but still enjoyable.

anyway, i suppose i should do some work since i am on the clock. if only i could live without money...alas...

don't single gals buy toilet paper too?

i was watching tv and noticed that new(ish) commercial for charmin toilet paper about what's softer than cotton. did anyone else notice that all three of the women in the ad are wearing wedding bands? do they think that only married women buy toiler paper? i'm sure singles care about the softness of their toilet paper too.

hmm...another ad that just annoyed me. the heritage commercial for the avro arrow. why do we listen to the americans? we should have just continued building it. the americans would have paid tons of cash for the patent.

wow, yet another ad that's stupid. i guess i should stop commenting on these commercials since there are shit loads of them. i hate the dating hotline commercials with horrible female actresses pretended to love chatting on the phone with random men that call.

i'm not feeling so glum anymore (hurrah!). so journalism is no longer a career path that i'm looking at. i've realized that i'll be happiest if i work with food in some way whether it's nutrition or cooking. we shall see where this path leads me.

something's wrong with the router in my house. i can connect outside of my house to other networks but it's always screwed up when i try to connect to my network at home. i went to the reference library the other day and was able to connect to tons of stuff.

i finally got new glasses!!! hurrah!! too bad they were out of my price range but hey, i've got six months interest free to pay them off. my old pair broke sunday night when i was racing for shot gun in will's car. i ended smacking the side of my head off the door and the arm broke off my frame. i felt like the biggest dork wearing broken glasses with one arm.

casting call at the distillery. this week's casting call was a bust. apparently the ad in the toronto star was was too small. this week we advertised in now magazine so the turn out should be much better and the applicants should be 'hipper' and hopefully hotter as well *fingers crossed*.

*yawn* lates.

lost

i am once again in a state of nothingness. i'm just here not doing anything. i feel like i'm drifting a big grey mass that has no boarders making it difficult to drift out of. i lack purpose right now. it's time for me to sit down and think about what i want to do with my life and write a five year plan. too bad writing one is much easier than following one.

never settle

i'm taking a break from cleaning up the remnants of my oscar party. nothing was broken and nothing was spilt (hurrah!). i have to vacuum the couches in a minute but i'd rather procrastinate for a minute because that's what i do best.

auston is the most annoying person i've ever met in my entire life. i don't know what the hell jen is thinking but she needs to dump him so badly. unfortunately, she has settled for what's around instead of what's actually good. he kept repeating everything over and over again tonight. and he was annoying jen too. i think she was annoyed because she could tell that i was annoyed. oh well, there's really nothing i can do about it. i'm just going to sit back, cross my fingers, and hope that whatever drug(s) she's on starts wearing off sooner rather than later.

ben showed up today. it was a nice surprise. i didn't think he would make it because he had a gig tonight and cj didn't make it. i'm fairly certain that him and nathan intended to take power naps and ended up falling asleep until tomorrow afternoon. if you deprive your body of sleep, it will automatically shut down. poor dumb boys. they really need to stop partying so hard all the time. it's starting to take its toll on them.

so i've decided that i don't want to get my journalism certificate. i think i'm going to go for my editing certificate. gotta start looking in to full time programmes. maybe i'll start something next january instead of this fall. i'm pretty sure that i've already missed the deadline for the fall semester. hmm...going to research that now before i put it off until it's too late.

what pub?

well, it turns out that 1832 will not be properly renovated for whatever reason. no one really knows what's going on. the 'higher powers that be' had a meeting today and then announced that we wouldn't be closing down any time soon. it's not going to be a pub so they need to stop using that word. i was really excited to see relaunching of the place but now i just feel indifferent; yet again. i wouldn't want to sit in there all night...it's too cold looking.

jen needs to calm her ass down. if she tells me one more time that she wants a swipe card i'll have no choice but to slap her. hello?? why don't you ask for you? did it ever occur to you that you don't have a card because you haven't asked for one? maybe if you asked for something instead of bitching about not having it, you would get it. two words: anger management.

i need to do laundry tonight. i'm going to try and pull an all-nighter today. get stuff done. gotta straighten up my room. such a mess. there are all of these plastic bags and newpapers on the floor. oh well. i need to also clean out my work space. i've been putting that off until i bought a computer and since i've just done that, time to get cleaning.

hmm..i'm watching law & order right now and i swear i just saw a shop that is in toronto on bloor. i'm confused...do they shoot in toronto?

speaking of shooting in toronto, i was on eastern today on my way to work and noticed some christmas decorations on the street lights. i had to think for a minute as to why they were up and then i remembered that the studios were right there. they're filming near the bakery that makes wonder bread.

i gotta dye my hair again tonight. you know your hair is really faded if the boys at work start telling you "hey, your hair's really yellow now, eh?" i want it to grow faster...need to fix this cut.

why is my forehead breaking out? not big huge zits but lots of little bumps. damn you winter!! this never happens in the summer. hmm...pms?

gotta go find something to snack on. i hate the munchies =(

procrastination

well, that's pretty much what i've been doing all day. well, i went to work but i didn't do much else. i have to study for a psychology test that i have on monday. i was planning on doing that right away when i got home but then i got stuck on ebay. damn obsessive ebay!

i went to indigo after work because i needed to pick up a copy of on human bondage for my journalism class. i was happily surprised to find that the jolly postman is back in print. i picked up a copy for myself and one for oi. surprise #2 at indigo wasn't so good. my debit card got declined and i got a message saying "contact branch". when i got home, i called customer service and for some reason cibc has blocked my debit card. excuse me, did i do something wrong? and why didn't anyone call me to tell me that my card was blocked. or has someone been stalking me and tried to use my account number? it's all very mysterious.

haha, this morning at work, the head chef came out of the kitchen and asked me "is jerk-off around?" i was a bit taken back by that and asked "and which one is that?" i knew that he was referring to another manager but i needed him to be a little more specific. it's nice to know that jason uses "jerk-off" as a term of endearment for his best friend, peter. such a random man.

gary called me "big dubaya" in an e-mail today. i've told him never to call me that again unless he wants to receive multiple stabs to the chest.

my little brother is currently blow drying his hair. i don't understand his obsession with his hair. there have been points in time when his hair has been longer than mine. i think it's funny that he takes just as long, if not longer, to get ready to leave the house as i do.

i was on the bus yesterday and there was this girl sitting across from me. i was pretty sure that it was alex's girlfriend but i wasn't positive. i remembered her being prettier but i talked to alex and it was her. she's got a a little bit of turkey neck going on. hmm...right...that's the jealous 13 year-old in me who's still in love with alex talking. blech. i'm so glad i'm not 13 anymore. i felt like asking her "so, do you know that your boyfriend's a cheating bastard?" and i know that it seems like i wanted to say that just to start shit but i'm not lying. a cheating bastard he is.

i'm having an oscar night party at my house. i'm a little scared as to how many people are going to show up. it is still my parents' house after all. no smoking inside. hmm...i gotta make sure to have lots of paper towel on hand. this could get very messy.

childstar

i'm going to see 'childstar' in a little bit with some friends i used to work with. kristin's actually in it and it's kinda weird sitting in a theatre watching a film when one of the stars is sitting beside you. it's actually kinda cool too. except her last movie had her do a nude scene so we all saw her titties. it was quite funny.

i was at coxwell station the other day and saw some kids getting transfers over and over again. i looked over at the transfer box and remembered how much more fun they were when i was a kid. does anyone else remember the old transfer boxes on the ttc? inside of that round gold button that senses pressure, there was a big red button that made a big chopping sound when you pushed it and the transfer would be spat out at you? i wish they still had those. they were faster that the new ones. not as easy to read but way more fun.

i have a menu test at work, a profile due for magazine writing, and a lot of reading to do in psych. i definitely forgot what it's like to be a student.

dye in my hair

i'm dying my hair pink again. i got it bleached again by marcus at coupe bizzarre and he took forever to do it. he foiled the bleach and the dye. the colour that he used faded out really fast and i figured i should stop being so lazy and just slap the dye in my hair.

i am now an 'assistant event coordinator' at the distillery. i work with a very tight-ass woman and a very fun gay man. haha...they balance each other out quit nicely. and i've inherited a lap top from the old event coordinator that got fired. all the vowels either stick or are super sensitive. it makes e-mailing a biatch and a half.

i've decided that i'm going to buy a laptop within the next month. i did the math and it turns out that all i have to work is clock in full hours for two weeks and i'm good to go. i have enough hard cash stashed away right now that it won't affect my account balances. hurrah! now i can move into my room and stay there. no more wondering "what the hell is this shit on andy's screen?!?!"

gotta go decide what kind of lap top i want. "according to my research..."

quiz

i chatted with my cousin, jennifer, online today for the first time ever. she lived in newmarket when we were kids so we didn't hang out or talk much. anyway, it was cool talking to her. i did poorly on a test she put on her blog.

for those of you who think you know me, take my quiz. there's also a scoreboard. how did you measure up?

i want out

i want to move out of this house. it's so damn loud in here and there's no where to go to hide from it. i don't understand why my family insists on yelling from one room to another inside of walking over to the person they want to talk to and speak at a normal volume level. it's driving me mental. why don't my parents understand that sometimes i don't want to talk and i just want it to be quiet? for fuck's sake! 'i am slowly going crazy...' i'm going to aim to move out in the summer or spring if possible. i just want to have my own space that people aren't allowed in unless they're invited.

ahh...nice venting. well, not that nice since i'm still annoyed and pissed off.

new year's was good. it was a bust in 1832. there definitely wasn't the 600 people that we had last year but i preferred it. i didn't bartend that much because it wasn't busy enough for three of us to be working the one bar. i ended up polishing and rolling a lot of cutlery.

the after party was fun. we all ended up going to eryn's which was great because she had just moved into a place that was right up the street. dean got booze from work and baker and i stole some juices and pop from work for mix.

i ended up falling asleep on a bean bag chair. dean told me that i was snoring really loudly and that nathan and chudi had a good laugh at my expense. *shrug* hey, i know i snore, can't really do anything about it. i think i might have sleep apnea. i should probably go talk to my doctor about it.

gotta full schedule soon. i haven't signed up for classes yet but i'm going to later tonight when peter goes to work. i can't use andy's computer because he doesn't have a printer. ugh...i'm going to be taking a magazine writing course and fucking chris r from work is taking it too. she's such an outsider. i don't mind working with her and talking to her at work but i am not looking forward to having a class with her. i hope there are cool people in the course to pair up with for group projects.

*yawn* enough negativity for now. maybe more later.

happy new year everybody.