not sure what to do

I'm sitting at the computer with my red apron on and i'm waiting for chocolate to harden and frosting to stiffen which leaves me with some time to ponder.

I keep stressing myself out by thinking about what to do with my future. Such a dreaded word. I thought I had it all planned out to go to class for Special Events and Destination Tourism in either January or September of 2009. Now I've thrown Fitness and Lifestyle Management into the mix and I'm really not sure what to do. I love the special events part of the hospitality industry but I think I'm getting tired of it all. Maybe it's because I'm serving again and I feel like all my skills are being wasted and, in affect, disappearing from me. I know I'll keep working as a server because there really isn't another job out there, that I'm willing to do, that will provide the same amount of cash while I'm in classes.

I think my problem is that when I get inspired by something, I go into my fantasy world and say to myself, "THAT is what I'm going to do with my life!" Seeing Janet's improv shows, wine tastings, vacationing and picking up bits and pieces of foreign languages. All of a sudden I want to be a wine guru that speaks Spanish and occasionally dabbles in improv. Not to say that I can't do all of those things but what I guess I'm getting at is that I need to focus on something and stick to it.

Now that all that's off my chest, time to get back to cupcakes.

back on the (fitness) wagon

I go through phases of being super healthy and then, well, simply put, not healthy. I started to put stickers on my calendar for every day that I went to the gym or did something very active. April and half of May have at least three to four stickers per week but the second half of May and thus far in June, until today, have zero stickers.

I finally went back to Fitness One today and took my time going through and trying all of the machines. I have a personal training session booked for Friday so hopefully that will be me more familiar with the equipment so I won't have to walk around reading all of the labels on them to see if I actually want to use them or not. While most of the machines are fine, all the leg extension machines are not very comfortable for me. The seats/pads do adjust but I find that they're just not really where they should be on my body and I don't want to cheat and end up hurting myself.

I am looking forward to getting back to the gym more. I think I fell off because I stepped on the scale one day and recalculated my BMI and it was at 23.5, which is healthy. I don't really care to lose anymore weight as I know I probably won't because muscle weighs more than fat. I would like to be stronger. Maybe I'll try out some boxing classes. Who knows? Maybe I'll just fall off the wagon again. I hope not but I've come to accept that it takes me many tries to get things done.

my hair needs to grow

so about three months ago i cut my hair because i was long due for a change and know i just want my hair to grow out already. i also recently got more bangs trimmed in and i also need those to grow out too. it's not quite long enough to put into an up-do, it's just too short for a pony tail to fall nicely (there are bits and ends that stick out straight rather than fall into a nice curve), there isn't a layer long enough to wrap around the base of my pony tail to cover up the elastic, and i'm just a little tired of wearing it down all the time without the option of doing anything else with it.

that's all i wanted to say.