Sunday, October 31, 2004


i'm contemplating whether or not to attend bob's halloween party as 'gogo' from 'kill bill vol.1'. my friend mel's going as 'the bride' because her ex got her that yellow bruce lee inspired outfit. pretty net if you ask me. robbie's going as one of the 'crazy 88'. i don't know if i want to be wearing a kilt when i'm hammered. who wears short shorts???

i made chocolate orange ooze cupcakes today. the 'ooze' was orange tinted cheesecake filling. quite tasty. i'm supposed to bring dessert to mel's pre-halloween party dinner. it's going to be fun with everyone at the dinner table in costumes. will said he's going to wear an old gi of his with really wide legs and a skirt thingy hanging around the legs. sounds interesting. must remember to buy film tomorrow.

time for a list...

things to do before going to bed:
1) decide on a costume
2) decide on a recipe
3) turn clock back an hour

things to do tomorrow:
1) call megan to arrange a 'hang-out' date
2) go buy things needed for costume
3) go buy ingredients needed for recipe
4) bake
5) get all dressed up
6) head to mel's without dropping the dessert while riding the ttc (maybe will will drive me?)
7) don't get too loaded at bobby's
8) avoided robbie miller's wandering hands

that's a pretty good list so far. i'm sure it will grow when i think about it when i'm lying in my bed.

i've read a lot in the past few days. i'm almost done reading the rest of my david sedaris collection. i need to read some classics next. jane austen and oscar wilde have been sitting idle on my bookshelf for far too long.

Thursday, October 28, 2004

chinese canadian apple pie?

is my father superman? he can build and fix anything and make a er-hu (chinese fiddle) with a coconut shell, and he can also make apple pie. i kept laughing at him tonight when he was moving furniture up into my room. instead of taking the bed frame in two turns, he struggled with all of it at once. my mother's explanation: he's lazy. haha. regardless, it's very reassuring to have my father as my father. i don't know if that makes any sense to you but it makes sense to me.

melanie stayed over for the past two nights. apparently, my house is the new u of t study hall. we went to taro grill on queen west and it was yummy. we started with grilled calamari which i thoroughly enough and a steak sandwich. oi got the "yummy chicken sandwich" which she enjoyed but i didn't like it so much. and it was cheap too. an appetizer, two sandwiches, a sprite, and large bottle of san pellegrino only came up to $35 before tip. i recommend a table by the window so you can people watch and say judgmental things about them...not that i recommend being judgmental but hey, everyone is.

i called in sick today. didn't feel like going in when i knew that i should move more stuff around. i cannot tell you how much hair in on the carpet in my old bedroom. i'm not sure that vacuum can handle all of it. oh well, i'll find out tomorrow.

Tuesday, October 26, 2004

5 parts mercy?

How to make a wildphoenix

5 parts mercy

3 parts courage

1 part ego
Add to a cocktail shaker and mix vigorously. Add caring to taste! Do not overindulge!

sloth, i am

i did absolutely nothing yesterday. i cleaned a bit of my room but not a whole lot and i have until the 28th to get everything up there. i got really frustrated with my mess so i stopped cleaning. i need to get a bed frame out of the garage today too.

melanie's here so at least i know that i'll get out of the house at an earlier time today. i need to return my iPod mini, buy a yoga mat and bag (i fell in love with a set at vice on queen west), maybe buy a pair of shoes, and then go to work for 5pm.

i need to start drinking lots of water again. i was really good about it for a month and then i stopped. now i'm feeling sluggish and bloated. however, that can just be premenstural. my lower back pain eased off in the past week or so but it's probably going to flare up again the next day or so.

Saturday, October 23, 2004

gone forever

well, it's official. the files that were hacked into on opendiary cannot be recovered. good-bye forever dear entries.

i got my hair cut by a woman named 'nutty' on thursday. i liked it to begin with but now no so much. it's too short and i feel like i'm wearing a helmet. the hair at the back of my head curves inwards when it dries and i hate it. i've never put so much pomade in my hair as i have in the past two days. maybe i'll like it more when i dye it again. fabio said that i look 'like a mom' which may be another reason why i'm starting to hair my hair. i don't wanna look like a mother, dammit! i'm only twenty!

the people that get fired from 'the apprentice 2' are really dumb. stacy just got fired and if i worked with her, i'd probably be really annoyed by her. she reminds me of this host, sergio, at work. he really doesn't 'get it' even when you explain something every way you including literally drawing him a picture. i was talking to mike when he was cashing me out and i asked him why no ones has fired him. there hasn't been a day i've worked with him without wanting to either a) strangle him or b) stab myself in the eye.

i need to spend all of tomorrow moving my stuff upstairs. you would think that i would be rational and slowly move things upstairs throughout the week but no, i'm a procrastinator and i love leaving things until the last minute. at least there isn't a lot of furniture to go up. i need to go to ikea to get a new table and some other little things.

time to go bake muffins and wash the dishes. and then dye my hair.

Tuesday, October 12, 2004

upper respiratory trait illness

ms. ___ was seen by me today regarding upper respiratory trait illness. that's what my doctor's note says. i was very glad to find out that i didn't have a bacterial infection. i've been instructed to gargle with salt water, drink lots of fluids, get lots of rest, and take a decongestant. so far, i've only drank a lot of fluids. right now i'm sucking on a Cepacol Sore Throat lozenge for fast, soothing relief. and it's antibacterial.

I gave these to her and right now, I, deadstar have just sneezed 12 times in a row just for one old lilac-coloured Gap sweater that is dusty form the fall section of the closet. I am also the giver of the lozenges to my dear cousin, wildphoenix, aka. "Breasts."
Bye for now.

hmm...that last paragraph was written by mimi. it doesn't fit my format but alas, i cannot control others.

i hate people. public transit reminds me of that all the time. when the bus pulled up to the stop today, people were so rude. the people boarding the bus didn't wait for the passengers to get off the thing and what's worse is that one of those passengers was a woman with a stroller. they just pushed their way up. what's the fucking rush? the bus isn't going to leave without you and you're not crippled so relax, it won't kill you if you have to stand for ten minutes. to those rude ass people, i'll see you in hell.

off to see the motorcycle diaries. hopefully there won't be an rude ass people in the theatre.

Sunday, October 10, 2004

gobble gobble gobble

happy turkey day all!

i'm all tired right now from a really overheated yoga class. there must have been at least 30 people in the room and all that makes for a lot of body heat. i've never sweat so much in my life.

my father takes at least 30 minutes to rise out of bed. my mother is yelling at him to get his ass up because we're going for dim sum. andy's not going. he told my mom that he has to go to work before we'll be done eating but i think it's because he's hungover. he's making strange gagging noises but i don't know for sure if he is hungover or not. it's getting harder and harder to tell lately.

i'm heading to mississauga later today with melanie. i don't want to fall asleep on the bus or train because i don't want to have a sore neck. hopefully i'll be able to read some. i've bought so many books lately and i haven't had a chance to get to them yet.

i'm getting sick! i feel it in the back of my throat. there's this hard 'lump' that i feel when i swallow but it doesn't hurt. i hope it's not another infection. i had one earlier this year and i was MIA for nearly a week and a half. when i finally showed up at work again, everyone responded by saying "she lives! she lives!" lemme tell you, i wore plenty of make-up that week so i wouldn't look like a corpse. time for tea with lemon and honey. yum.

ttc issues

ugh...i was so tired pulling into broadview station when i got into the station, i went westbound instead of eastbound. i didn't notice that i went the wrong way until i was at sherbourne. and then when i got off the bus going home, i didn't notice that my streetlight was red and the bus almost ran into me. the bus driver honked really loudly and gave me an angry look with his hands in the air. one man on the bus stared at me when it drove past me.

my mother is currently squawking at me. i'm so not looking forward to my parents being home everyday of the week. i'm so use to the them being away five days out of the week. why don't they understand that i don't want to talk to them as soon i walk into the door? nor do they understand what i mean when i say i don't want to talk because i had a bad day. just leave me the hell alone and i'll be fine.

i got called in for a shift at the distillery. the work stations are so messy right now. i want to clean and reorganize it but i didn't care tonight. maybe i'll clean it thursday at lunch when i have nothing to. fortunately, my two schedules don't conflict too much and i only have to get rid of two of my shifts at podium.

i'm looking forward to eating a lot of turkey. i hope no one wants the dark meat. dark meat is so yum. much juicier and more nutritious. there's going to be so much food to consume at my aunt and uncle's place. hurrah!

Friday, October 08, 2004


the woman next to me in the yoga studio farted! and it wasn't a little puff, it was a full on honk. after the class was done, she darted out of the studio but i don't know if that was because she had to get to work or if she was embarrassed. i'm thinking about going to the 6am classes regularly. i really enjoyed being up early this morning but it would have been better if i got more sleep last night.

melanie's roommate, veeebeee, is a retarded psycho bitch. and immature. she likes to change her msn messenger name to things like "roommates are for suckers", "i need a clean roommate", and other things along those lines. my theory is that she has some complex where she always needs attention and likes to fabricate faults in other people. melanie's going to move out december 1st but she hasn't told her that yet. i want her to change her msn name to "instead of eating turkey, maybe you should find your bitch ass a new roommate." i also told melanie to put some crickets in the apartment just before she moves out. then they'll chirp all night and keep her up forever. and i also don't like her because she once told melanie that i'm a 'bad influence'. how does that work? mel's older and she used to make me cry when we were kids.

i sang a birthday song to one of tom's tables at work tonight. none of us wanted to sing so i suggested a jack astor's birthday song. it goes like this: this is the birthday song, and it's not very long! and then you just walk away from the table. the kitchen staff came out to listen to us sing and pissed their pants laughing when we were done. the birthday girl had a huge brown mole and i wanted to stay there and stare at it after we were done singing.

Thursday, October 07, 2004

sick(?) and tired

i feel like i'm getting sick/ my ears are a little achy and i've been coughing a bit. i'm tired because instead of buying groceries and heading home last night, i went out for a bite to eat with melanie and mimi. then when i got home, i didn't sleep for a long while after.

work was good. they've called me twice since i got home but i haven't answered. i think it might have something to do with a credit card that got processed funny that worked out to my advantage. the credit slip that the guest got said the total was $220 and he put the total to $255. however, when i went to cash out, i looked at sales journal and the computer somehow processed the bill as only $200 and that i got a $55 tip instead of $35. hey, it's all the same to the guest's credit card. just lemme keep the extra $20. but then again, they might have been calling for another reason but i guess i'll find out tomorrow. i'd just rather not have to deal with that before i go to bed. if have to give them back $20 tomorrow, i will still have made a bill so that's not a bad night.

ttc bus drivers make $25/hour. i over heard some guy talking to the bus driver on the way home and he asked him. i think that's the starting wage because the bus driver was pretty young. not bad. $25/hour, benefits, vacation time, and a pretty secure job. i wonder if subway drivers make more or less. it seems like it would be a lot harder to driver a bus opposed to a subway or streetcar now that i think of it. i don't like bus drivers that drive really fast. it makes me uneasy. and i really don't like it when bus drivers are talking on a cell phone. 'hello, you're driving a big ass bus! shouldn't you be focusing?'

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

i'm a proud pigeon?

yup, that's what my yoga instructor told me i was today. i didn't know that there was a poses named the "pigeon sequences". i finally got my ass down to the moksha yoga studio and had a pretty good time. sweat was dripping off of me. funny thing is that i feel like i did a really good work out at a gym but i didn't. my thighs are feeling that "post-workout" tingle. i'm going back for more tomorrow.

i've had a great day so far. well, maybe not great but pretty damn good. it's only 3:24 in the afternoon and i've already eating all of my required dairy and grain servings, i got to the bank and got a new ATM card 'cause i lost it, paid some bills, and got my account switched from monthly statements to a bank book. now i need to get to the kitchen table and buy some produce so i can get my fruit and veggie servings. i just hope works goes quickly so i'll be able to get home and eat said fruits and veggies and i also have honey garlic chicken breast marinating in the fridge for later. i also found out about my george brown courses and the news is good: i have the prerequisites.

i got a iPod mini the other day but i think i'm going to return it. my little bro can't figure out how to put songs on it so if he can't do it, i doubt i can. he recommends me getting the iPod with 15gb because you can just drag mp3s over the to the iPod and it loads up easily.

my friend alkan is finally home! he was in china for over a year doing photography. he is one of the most energetic people i know and he's so fun to be around. when we worked together, we spent a lot of time giving people random donkey punches. the best prank he tried to pull on me was when he tried to undo my bra during a shift meeting. he was standing behind me and he had to use both hands and literally grab my bra straps. i didn't understand why he was having such as hard time because even though he's queer as a three dollar bill, he's a fashion photographer so i thought it'd be able to accomplish taking off a girls bra. guess not...

hmm...time to go shower and watch opera before heading to work.

Sunday, October 03, 2004

i am one lazy person

i did only one thing that was on my 'to do' list. i went to podium and the schedule wasn't done because eric quit. apparently they need to revamp the entire schedule just because of him. last time i checked, we only have 10 servers on the schedule and eric only had at the very most, two shifts. is it really that hard to cover his shifts? everyone working wants shifts and we pretty much all have an open availability. incompetence is forgivable when you're making moving but it's not tolerated when you're making very close to zero dollars.

i'm back at the distillery. mike was more than happy to put me back on the schedule and diane was super happy. hurrah! i'd rather not go back but there's great holiday money to be made there.

i've eaten so many of those cookies. they're yum but i'm getting sick of them. i want to make cheese cakes but i haven't gotten around to buying a spring form pan. i wonder if my mother has one at the restaurant. i know that she has all of the tube pans for angelfood cake. i think i'm also going to try and make most of my christmas presents this year. i'm feeling broke therefore i must be 'frugal'.

i haven't been on speaking terms with my older brother in a few weeks now. it's really not affecting me because i didn't really talk to him all that much anyway. i think he's going through some sort of late adolescent rebellion right now. i figure because he lived with my aunt and uncle for his mid-late teens, he didn't have that phase where he hated our parents. i'm glad my younger brother's finally done with that phase. he's got the shortest temper out of the three of us.

my dad has major renovation plans for our house. he wants to expand part of the kitchen, redo some plumbing, punch windows into some walls, and move a lot of stuff around. the floor really needs to be redone. you can't run in our house for fear of falling through the floor. i need to get rid of the blinds in my room and get double curtains. white ones for during the day to let light in and darker ones for night time to block out the street lights. it's going to be so bright in that room compared to the basement that i've been living in for so long.

i gotta go plan my day tomorrow. i'm really wanting to actually get something(s) accomplished since i did absolutely nothing today.

Friday, October 01, 2004

chilly willy bake off

i baked cookies and froze my ass off in the wee hours of the morning. there are now two bags full of double chocolate chunk cookies. i wish that it was possible to make just a few cookies at once but no, you have to make at least a dozen.

it's really cold in my house right now. my brothers must have polar bear blubber because neither of them closed the windows yesterday. my older brother, andy, is currently sleeping in a pair of dark grey sweat pants with elastics around the ankle. he has his feet tucked into his sweat pants "astro boy style". my little brother, peter, pointed out that his lower half looks like a seal because his legs don't look like two human legs. more like a lazy seal lying on some sand or snow.

got a full day planned ahead of me. i'm going to:
  • go to work and get my schedule
  • go to hakim optical and check out some new frames
  • go to george brown and find out what the pre-reqs are for some courses
  • go to the bank
  • go find birthday cards and write them out
  • move more of my junk upstairs to my new/old bedroom

depending on what my schedule looks like, i may have to stop by the distillery and see what the situation there is. i only got two shifts this week and i cannot afford to work there if those are the kind of hours i'm going to get. hopefully there will be some room for me back at the slaughter house if i choose to head back that way (a step backwards i wouldn't be too happy about). mike got transferred back to the complex so hopefully he'll fire some people. i wonder if he's made people feel inadequate yet...

*deep breath* okay...time to go cross some things off the list.