30 days

30 days. I have 30 days (according to this self-help book) to cure a broken heart. I feel so pathetic when I'm in the self-help aisle of a book store. Like I should have a giant bag of yarn and three pet cats with me. Regardless, I hit the depression stage of this most recent break-up over a month after the actual break-up. There are two sides to every story, but to be honest (which is part of the "healing" process), it all blew up because of something that I did. I had my reasons and they seemed right at the time, but as the old saying goes, hindsight is 20/20.

So I am now on Day 3 of said book and today was my last crying day. My eyes were intensely swollen over the last two days because I would sporadically cry and when I wasn't crying on my own, I watched sad movies to ensure a constant stream of tears. Hey, if I only get three days to cry, I made sure to compete with Niagara Falls. Yesterday was spent with family so there were no tears until I was home late a night.

This book is structured in a way that you only read one chapter per day of the 30 days. With each chapter, there are new rules that you are to put into place for the remaining days. Rules for Day 3:

Rule #1: No Contact
Easy enough. Oh wait, no contact also means no contact with his family, friends, coworkers, and anyone else I met through him. Um, uh....okay....two and a half years means there are a lot of friends in the picture...will do my best to adhere to this no contact rule. So if there are any of his friends reading this, I'm not being flaky and ignoring you, but I kind of am. Sorry, it has nothing to do with you. We'll catch up in October. I'm giving myself a pass on the people that I will see on the street due to the proximity of our work places. That is something that is totally out of my control.

Rule #2: Go Right Ahead, Think About Him
Obviously, this will happen. Here's how this rule goes: everything I think of him through rose tinted glass and remember him as being a loving person , I am also to come up with a memory of a time when he was unloving, inconsiderate, dismissive of me, rude to me, etc. This rule shouldn't be too hard to follow.

Rule #3: No Revenge!
It's crossed my mind. I could run a smear campaign. I could be an evil vindictive bitch. I choose not to.

Rule #4: No Driving Past His House or Work
I would be too digsusted with myself on how pathetic I would have to be to do this, so this won't be an issue. Once again, work is really close together so I'll be walking by it frequently just to get to where I'm going.

Rule #5: Avoid His Usual Hangouts
Looks like after school drinks will be at Betty's for the first month. I am slightly irritated that this place was actually my usual hangout first and now I'm avoiding it.

Rule #6: Every Day, every Night, an Affirmation
This is what the book says to repeat every morning:

I have the power to transform today's pain into tomorrow's wisdom, and I love myself enough to choose to do exactly that. There is joy waiting for me. I deserve it. And I will be healthy enough to recognize and embrace it when it comes, and know that if this is what it took to find it, it was worth all this and more.

Okay, now I feel really pathetic...but I'm not crying =)

my food quirks

Since Toronto is under a tornado warning and we're all being advised to stay in, I figured blog before I head to bed to read. A note titled "25 Random Things About Me" was going around on Facebook and as I was writing my 25 random things, I noticed that nearly half of them were food things. I then decided to scrap the random food things from that list and make one that's only random food things about me. This is the list and I have no idea now many points there will be. Let us being...

1) I detest wasabi
Contrary to what my dining companions believe, it's not the spice that I don't enjoy. It's easy enough to adjust the heat level by how much wasabi you put in your soy. It's the mustard flavour that I don't like. Horseradish, Dijon and grainy mustards are also a no go. I do like plain old yellow hot dog mustard.

2) I like my cereal soggy
I will pour milk over my cereal and wait until it softens before taking the first bite. Sometimes I'll pour milk over cereal as soon as I get out of the shower and then go get dressed. I also prefer to have fruit in my cereal. Usually a sliced banana.

3) I have a massive sweet tooth
Wheel that dessert cart my way! I will eat almost anything that is considered a dessert.

4) I peel red grapes
I will sit in front of the T.V. with a bunch of red grapes and peel each and every one of them before eating. I don't do this with green grapes. Only the red ones because I don't like how the skins make your mouth pucker.

5) I forced myself to like olives
I used to despise olives. One day I decided that I was going to like olives and proceeded to eat half a jar of them. I did this because I was told that you have to eat seven olives in a row in order to acquire a taste for them. I now very much enjoy olives.

6) I also forced myself to like Guinness
I did this because I was told that Guinness has less calories in it than beer. Yes, that is a very superficial reason, but considering that I'm not a huge beer drinker, I figure it wouldn't hurt. I now also very much enjoy Guinness.

7) I love beets
I love beet salad, roasted beets, pickled beets, beet juice, beet soup. I love beets.

8) I think smelly cheese is delicious
Stinky, smelly, creamy cheeses are the best. I was reading a book and the author referred to this type of cheese as "death cheese." To him, this type of cheese is what the inside of a corpse's mouth would smell like after weeks of decay. I also like cheeses with mould in them. Bring on the blue!

9) I gravitate towards braised meats if they're on a menu
Lamb shanks, osso bucco, braised short ribs...mmm....I think it's because I don't braise things at home so I always order them when I'm out.

10) I eat the green stuff and the yellow stuff too
The green stuff inside lobster heads, also known as lobster tomalley. I gross out many co-workers when I tell them that I eat the green stuff. They chalk it up to me being Chinese. The yellow stuff is inside the crab heads, also know as crab mustard. If it's a big crab with a big shell, I like to put a scoop of rice into the shell and mix it all together with the mustard. So good....*drool*...

11) I'm only dependant on coffee when I'm in school
Before September of 2008, I drank coffee every now and then. I didn't NEED one every morning, or every day for that matter. Upon returning to school, I found that I NEEDED coffee to get through the day. There were some early classes that required a morning pick me up, but in most cases, I was just so bored by the content of classes that I relied on coffee to keep me awake through classes.

12) I love rice
I had to stop making rice at home because I can't eat just one cup of cooked rice. If there is a pot of rice around at home, I will eat no less than three cups of it and there is really no point in make just one cup of rice. I get my "rice fix" when I'm at family meals and when I'm eating out.

13) I like liver
Pâté and foie grais are amazing. But I limited the amounts I eat because "too much of a good thing" definitely applies to this delicacy.

14) Paula Dean grosses me out
Seriously? This woman's cooking is the nasty shit ever. Yes, I know butter added flavour, but on top of the copious amounts of butter she adds to everything, does she really need to cook all green vegetables until they're GREY?!?! Barf.

15) I am incapable of making just one serving of fruit salad
Whenever I make a fruit salad, I always end up with a massive bowl full. This is mostly due to the fact that I believe a fruit salad should have lots of different fruits in it. Fruit salad that is almost completely comprised of melon is lame. I am now eating my way through a big bowl of fruit salad I made yesterday that has blueberries, strawberries, peaches, kiwi, and oranges. I was going to add green grapes, but that would have been too much green in the salad and I also believe fruit salad should be well balanced in regards to colour.

16) I add fresh produce to canned foods
I add more mushrooms to cream of mushroom soup and frozen peas to canned beef stew. One of the grosses things that I love eating is probably canned beef stew (with frozen peas tossed in, of course) over instant noodles. This is something that my family and members of my extended family did (and still do) when I was a child. When there's nothing in the house and I have no idea what to have for dinner, it's not uncommon for me to run out to the corner store to pick up a can of stew and a pack of noodles. I purposely don't keep those two things in my apartment because I'd eat it WAAAAYYYY too often if I did.

17) Root beer is my favourite soft drink
Does Hires still make root beer? I never see it anywhere anymore so I now drink A&W root beer, but Hires was better. Barq's doesn't quite hit the spot.

I may add to this list later, but that's all for now. Over and out!